Have you ever been to that place in your life where you just don’t fit anymore? Over time, you change, your personality changes, your goals, priorities, interests, thoughts, and feelings change. Suddenly you discover that a place where you once used to fit so nicely is not as comfortable as it used to be. It sticks out at you in funny angles and prods at you until you know that it is time to find a new niche.
I have been feeling this way lately. It is time for me to move on in my life. I need to get out, get away, and do things for myself. The problem is that I don’t really know how. I don’t mean to upset people in my life. I really do love them, and appreciate everything that each one of them does for me, but I don’t know how to show them. I feel that anything I can do won’t be enough.
Something big needs to happen. I need a change; a big change. I need a chance to prove to myself that I really can be my own person, and that I can take care of myself. Maybe if this happens, I will cease to be a burden, and I will cause less heartache to those closest to me. God knows that I never wanted to be that way to them.
I do not mean to be a Debbie-Downer on the blog today, but it’s a Monday, and it’s raining outside…and so far today, I’ve only had one English student. I suppose that I’ll go back to reading “To Kill a Mockingbird.” I’m nearly finished, but I find that the book is slower during the courtroom scenes. I personally prefer the beginning and middle of the book when Scout and Jem are just being children, and I as the reader get to watch them grow up. Their childhoods remind me of my own. I had a fabulous childhood, and am luck to still have a great home life. I just find that over time, things change, and no matter how much you might hate it, sometimes you have to change with them.
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