A Whispered Reminder

Have you ever heard that little voice inside of you tell you that something is still missing? It isn't a loud voice that demands to be heard, but rather, a quiet whisper that is almost easy to miss. For me, it simply gives me a little nudge every now and again to remind me that despite my happiness, I'm not entirely whole.

Years ago, that feeling had been much greater. Back when I lived at home, I knew that if I didn't leave, if I didn't run away just once, and see a little more of the world, I'd regret it my entire life. So, I ran, and it was wonderful. That feeling, that inner voice got smaller.

~

It went away entirely once.

I don't believe that any human being can complete you, but I do believe that it is possible for someone to come along and understand your soul in such a deep way that that little whispered, "There's something more..." is finally silenced.

"I found him whom my soul loves," Solomon said (Song of Solomon 3:4 AMP). And so had I.

I'm on my own again. But that's okay. I've grown to enjoy my life how it is, regardless of who is with me, or when I am alone. I'm never lonely anymore. I have myself for company, so I really doubt that I'll ever be lonely again. I don't know how it took me so long to figure that out.

But even with my contentment, for I really am satisfied with life, and my heart isn't broken anymore, sometimes I still hear my heart's (or is it my soul's?) whisper, "There is more..." and I am reminded that I once felt this entire sense of wholeness.

But then, sometimes you make eye contact with a stranger, and your heart leaps. "Could it be?" it asks and begs to know if it could be made whole again. Or, words on a page, conversations with a kindred soul tell you that there is another one like you—someone who understand and wants to feel that sense of wholeness again, or even for the first time. 

~

If I thought I had a chance with you, if I thought you might make a little room for me in my life, I would say to you so many things that have been welling up inside of me: 

"Could you maybe...if it's not too much trouble...take a little time with me? I cherish the words that leave your mouth, serious or silly. Let's explore the dark nights and wander through the sun-lit days. My hand has a place for yours to land. I think your fingers could fit so nicely between mine." 

But you have your life, and I have mine. While I look up at you and smile, I'd never invade your life. My soul thinks you could be one who would understand, because so far, you have...but I don't know if I can ever take that chance. If I gambled and lost (and haven't I always been terrible in casinos?), you would be the one to really tear my heart into pieces.