The Story of a Working Man

He looked up one day from his computer screen, and across the room of his spacious office, his eyes falling upon the proofs of his accomplishments: his various honors, diplomas, and degrees. And he sighed, because he had traded in his first love for the dreams forged by another person. He altered his plans and built goals to suit his wallet rather than his heart. And then one cold December day, he realized that he had achieved everything he ever wanted, only to realize that he never actually wanted any of this at all.

He didn't want money, only enough to live. But people had told him that he needed it.

He didn't want prosperity, not the kind that he now had, the kind that made him miserable.

He didn't want acclaim, but he had been told that it would make him happy.

So today he sits in an office, his soul tied up in his chest, waiting for 5:00 before it was allowed to soar again. And he wonders what it would have been like if he had followed his heart and done exactly what he pleased. Would he have failed? Maybe. But knowing that he had tried, might make up for it. At least, this is what he told himself. But…Is it too late now?

Maybe not. 

The Great Paper-Zillah and A Good Guy Flick!

So…yesterday was the first day that I’ve really had to actually work, while I’m at work. I had a student waiting for me when I arrived. As soon as I was finished helping him, another student came in. It was good to be busy. I felt sorry (and frustrated) for this one student who arrived a little bit later. She had never used a computer ever, so I spent most of the time showing her how to just turn on the computer, put in her thumb drive, and use the word processor. It’s hard to believe that there are people who don’t know how to use certain technology, while I feel it is as natural as breathing. Even though I felt bad for her and wanted to help, I must admit, my fuse was getting short.


Later in the afternoon I received a couple of papers by email. These are a little harder to work with, because I really can’t fix anything on them. I’m only allowed to point out big, reoccurring errors, like run-on’s and fragments. The first paper took me just under an hour to review. It wasn’t a bad paper, but I found the job to be somewhat strenuous. That was nothing. The second paper was like Paper-Zillah! I wanted so badly to just go through and rewrite the entire thing, but alas! That goes completely against my job, and my morals. I did the best I could with it, but it took me over an hour, and I was getting really discouraged by the end. I felt so bad sending that paper back with a million and one comments written all over it, but it was the best I could do. I have a new respect for English teachers who actually have to grade that stuff. I also have a renewed disappointment in school systems that send their graduates to college with less than a basic knowledge of the English language.

Alright, that’s my rant for today. I’m at work again, and there isn’t a student in sight, not for English, and not even for math. I took advantage of the time to do a little writing. Even though this is completely off topic, I’ve got this strange desire to do a “guy date” and just grab a friend and go see as many loud, blow-up-everything, superhero movies as I possibly can before they’re out of theatres. I sort of miss doing that with the guys I used to date, or hang out with. It’s a lot of fun, and I’ve discovered that I like those movies just as much as I do my favorite chick flicks. So…popcorn anyone?

Count that day lost...

Today is the last day of the work week for me, but is also the day I’ve been dreading. I’m currently in the play, Brigadoon at a local theatre, and tonight we are putting on a benefit performance. I order to actually be on stage in time, I’m going to have to do my hair and makeup before I leave work, which means I will leave work looking like a cross between a drag queen and a geisha. Once I get to the theatre, I will have just enough time to throw on my tights, shoes, and costume, and run onto the stage. I’m a little nervous about that because I’m the type of actress who likes to rehearse before every performance. If I don’t, I do not feel ready.

Even so, I kind of like the feeling of living a “fast-paced” life, so to speak. Ever since I was in my first show in 2007, I haven’t stopped acting, and always do three shows a year. I love it. I also love the fact that it keeps me busy. I don’t like being idle for too long. I sometimes even have trouble slowing down long enough to get the rest that my body needs. I guess that my desire to fill my days up with as much work and productivity as I can stems back to when I was a child. I had an autograph book that I was trying to fill. When I asked my great grandmother to write something, this is what she wrote, “Count that day lost when the low descending sun views from thy hand no worthy action done.” That struck such a chord with me, and I realized how important each day is, and how each one is a gift that shouldn’t be “lost.”

When I was a little older, I started to have some heart problems. The doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong, but I continually had violent heart palpitations. To discover the reason behind the palpitations, the doctors had me wear a heart monitor for the entire month of June. I was scared. I didn’t know if I was going to lose my life in one of the attacks, and no one could give me a straight answer as to what was wrong. I was frightened enough that I began to realized how temporary life really is. In just a moment, it can be snuffed out. I started living my life the way my great grandmother had taught me.

In retrospect, I really had no reason to be worried. My heart is strong, and I only had a small allergy to caffeine, which was easily remedied by abstaining from chocolate and other caffeinated edibles (trust me, it got easier as I went along). Even so, I felt like I learned an important principle: every day is a new opportunity to do something worthwhile. I guess my great grandmother ought to know…she’s had over ninety years’ worth of days filled with her goodness…and she’s still going strong.