Saying Goodbye: The Letter He Will Never Read

You know, six weeks ago I thought it was a tragedy. I thought that when you left me, I would just curl up and die. I almost went home because I thought you were the only person in this whole city who cared for me.

But I was wrong.

I am so much stronger than I knew then. So when you see me, stop looking so surprised. Stop being so shocked when you find out that I go out with our old friends. I didn’t go away. I didn’t just fade into the darkness.

And I want to thank you. I want to thank you for doing me the biggest favor of my life. Looking back on us, I now see things I chose to ignore before or thought would be worked out. But since you, I realized how heartless you really were.

It isn’t natural to sit there next to your crying girlfriend and not even give her a hug or a pat on the back. Why did I always have to ask to be held?

It isn’t natural to hear that your girlfriend is grieving over the loss of a friend and not even ask if she is okay.

If anything, I feel sorry for you. How will you ever make it through life without feeling anything? I wish you understood, and I wish you knew what you were missing. I pray that someday you will understand and will be able to empathize and sympathize with others.

I, on the other hand, have been freed. My God! Sometimes I think about the bullet I dodged. Since you, I’ve gotten to know someone who has shown me how caring people can actually be. I’ve recently been hugged when I’ve been upset. The sad thing is that this was a shock to me, because I was so surprised that anyone would even take that kind of interest in my sorrow or care that much about my troubles.

I realize now that I don’t have to settle for someone who just brushes me and my hurts off. Compassion still exists and I have such great hope for the future.

I thought I’d walk out of this jaded and bitter, but instead, I feel wiser, and more hopeful than ever. I feel redeemed, I feel renewed, I feel loved and innocent again. I didn’t know that was possible, but it is.

Thanks for doing me that favor. Goodbye for good. I hope you find your way.