Have you ever been haunted? I’m not
talking about just any haunting. I’m talking about memories. For me, those are
the biggest ghosts and goblins following me on this evening of October 31st.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about many of the people who have walked in and
out of my life, especially in the past five or six years. Many have come into
my life and have remained, yet there are others who came in, made a huge
impact, and then left as quickly as they came. Those are the ones I am thinking
of tonight.
My life bears witness to these
people. As I look around my room, I see pictures of the ones who once stood
beside me and posed in front of the camera. For some reason, it’s hard to
believe that we ever stood next to each other. She feels so far away now. A
kiss on the hand and tears in her eyes is the last memory I have of her.
There is a poster on my door that
is signed by a very dear friend and it says, “I love you.” He is completely out
of my life now, moved on to a different city, yet, not a day goes by when I don’t
walk through that door, see his words, and think of him. Am I the only person
who still remembers?
Sometimes when I am out in public,
perfect strangers walk by, and I have the complete conviction that I see the
face of someone I used to know. Ghosts. That’s all they are.
Even yet, sometimes I reach into an
old purse or wallet, and I pull out a ticket stub from a movie long past and I
smile a little as I remember. Some of the movies were dreadful, but a part of
me would sit through it again if that person was there with me once more.
The photographs that I have from
the various plays I was a part of are the hardest to bear. They aren’t just
about a cast of people putting on a show. They are about relationships made,
friendships forged, loves once cherished, now lost.
I guess that’s the theme tonight:
loss. Because, isn’t that what a ghost is: a lost soul? I wonder how long I
will carry them around with me. Perhaps forever, or perhaps until they are
replaced by new ghosts. I don’t know. Regardless, tonight, I pay them a little
bit of homage. If you are one of my ghosts tonight, will you come back to the
world of the living? If you aren’t…will you become one?
