Monday, October 12, 2015

For the Friend I Lost, and the Friend Who Carries On Without Her

You can see it in her face.
It isn’t lines or age.
It’s time and pain.
There has been so much hurt.
So much loss.

It wasn’t even my mom, who is gone,
But sometimes I feel like it was.
I’m afraid to express my own pain,
Because it isn’t fair to her,
Since she lost more than the rest of us.

But she wears her pain
Like water wears the glow of the morning sun.
It’s made her better,
Stronger,
More beautiful.

She makes me want to be like her—
And that’s the same way her mother always made me feel.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Hoverboards and Hope

Marty McFly traveled to a bright future full of hoverboards, pretty colors, and cool inventions. Even though his future wasn’t exactly what he was hoping for, it was still bright and hopeful as a whole. It’s indicative of older futuristic movies—the likes of which you really don’t see anymore.

But now the future is here and we all have computers in our pockets and cool inventions that make our lives easier, even though I don’t ride to work every day on a hoverboard (get on that, NASA). However, our media doesn’t reflect that. More recently, our movies and TV shows are generally about apocalypse, end times, zombie attacks, and mass death. It’s dark. It’s depressing. It’s hard to find the hope. People are cast off like dandelion seeds, and human life is disposable.

Last Christmas, one of my best friends made me a painting with a quote from the BBC show, Doctor Who, which said, “Nine hundred years of time and space and I never met anyone who was unimportant.”

It spoke to me. Everyone is important.

And recently I was watching an episode of the same show, when the Doctor was in a usual, desperate situation where he finds himself on a strange planet, with a bus full of people he was trying to save. He began to ask them where they were headed when they got on the bus. Some were headed to dinner, others to see friends and family, some just wanted to go home and watch TV. The Doctor told them, “That planet out there … that planet is nothing—you hear me? Nothing compared to all those things waiting for you: food, and home, and people. Hold on to that.”

This morning I was talking on the phone with my boyfriend as I got ready for work. He had been reading the Bible in the morning and he said he had been thinking about “the little people” in the Bible who are just part of a group and never get mentioned—the ones who marched around Jericho, or who wandered in the desert. He was talking about how we as people are always told that we can do great things, that we should strive to reach our potential…but what about these nameless people who were essentially the cogs of something bigger…but never had their names mentioned or made a big difference on their own.

I’ve been thinking about that this morning, and it makes me think of those Doctor Who quotes. There isn’t anyone who isn’t important. Every person makes a difference, even if it’s small. Even if it just means your life is composed of going to your boring day job and coming home to your loved ones at night.

We are all part of a bigger picture, and together we make a difference—even when we don’t think that we are. When we are living our lives, doing what God intended for us to do, we’re doing the greatest thing we can, even if we aren’t curing cancer or saving someone’s life.

Life happens in the little things. Life is made in the tiny decisions. Our lives matter, even in the great scheme of things and the vast cosmos that we know so little about. We matter. I matter.


YOU matter.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

RANT.

Hello. My name is Abigail and today I’m having a meltdown.

I feel like I’m being pulled in so many different directions. There is so much to do and never enough time to do it.

The boyfriend is moving into town this weekend…which also is when Hurricane Joaquin is moving in. What a coincidence.

The boyfriend needs me to pick up a router for the new apartment, on my lunch break.

The boyfriend’s roommate needs the router BEFORE my lunch break.

GUYS. I ONLY HAVE ONE LUNCH BREAK.

Work has been fulfilling, but very busy. I don’t have time to be orchestrating all of this.

I am so happy that the boyfriend is moving closer, but I don’t handle change well.

All of a sudden we go from seeing each other once every two months or so, to seeing each other every day.

I’m psyched about this, but just about every weekend this month, we’re going to be going on a trip together to go pick up furniture for him, go to a wedding of one of his friends, and a trip with some of my friends…

It’s all great stuff…but I’m losing my mind. I need a grace period to see how he and I work together in person. I’ve only really seen him 5 times…for a total of MAYBE two weeks if it was all smooshed together.

I NEED TIME TO GET USED TO IT ALL FIRST.

Oh! And the bathrooms at the house need to be cleaned. Usually I just do it, but I need help this month. Thankfully my roommates are great and step up when I ask, but I hate having to ask for help.

Oh! And WE ALL USE THE BATHROOMS!!

IF ONE MORE PERSON SAYS THAT SINGLE PEOPLE HAVE NOTHING TO DO I AM GOING TO HURT SOMEBODY!

OH! And here, proof a bazillion things that were due LAST WEEK but we’re only getting them to you NOW.


END RANT. *Takes bow* Thank you.