Forgiveness.
It’s not just a great song by The Eagles (although it is
that too).
I've come to discover that I can identify the exact moment
when I've forgiven someone. Usually, I’m just going about my day, and something
will happen that reminds me of that person, and suddenly, I realize, that I
have forgiven them.
For example, recently, I was driving along and I had a quick
thought of someone who had recently really hurt me. And in my mind, I asked
myself, “What will I do if I see him again this year?” And my subconscious
answered for me and said, “Well, I guess you’ll just have to accept the way
things are and just be okay with it.” And I realized that it was a step towards
forgiveness. If there was a meter that could measure a person’s level of
forgiveness towards another person, mine would have been at about 80% right
then.
And then today, I was on a social media site where I saw
some pictures that he had recently posted. They were your usual, “I’m taking a picture
of my coffee and the journal I’m writing in” kind of photos. And instead of
continuing to scroll to the next person’s post, I lingered for a moment and
looked. In both pictures, was the journal that I had given him. And I don’t
know why, but my heart got warmer, and I realized I was glad that he was using my gift to him. I was glad that he found joy in the journal.
And suddenly, I realized that my forgiveness meter had
reached a full 100%.
I didn't care anymore about the ways he had wronged me. I
didn't care anymore about the hurtful things he had said, or the fact that our
once-beautiful relationship had crumbled. None of that mattered anymore. Sure,
it still hurts, but it doesn't matter. It is over. It is done. I have survived,
and I have forgiven.
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