In a lot of ways, I’m a girl with some old-fashioned values.
I treasure my relationship with God, I enjoy my church life, and I was raised in a loving, Christian home. I’m also
classically trained in ballet; I love a good cup of tea, cooking, and a marathon of The
Golden Girls. This is a part of who I am. I enjoy staying home sometimes on a
Friday night and curling up in my pajamas to watch Pride and Prejudice. Lace and frilly things are my delight.
But do you know what else I like? I like skateboarding and
denim vests with the sleeves cut out. I take pride in the fact that I have a
great job and I’m able to support myself and live on my own, even far away from
my family. I take good care
of my car, and I have a working knowledge of what goes on under the hood. I go
places on my own and I’m not afraid. I’m independent and fully capable of
taking care of myself.
When dating, I don’t look for a guy who’s got money, a fancy
car, or a nice place, because those aren't priorities to me. I’m not looking to
be taken care of. What I do look for in a guy is his spiritual well-being,
where he is in his relationship with God, what his values are, whether or not
he wears socks with sandals—you know, the important things.
But lately, what I've noticed is that the guys who are into
God and their church are the same guys who are not looking for an independent
woman. These guys all seem to be
devoting their attention to the Little House on the Prairie, denim-jumper-wearing,
Suzy homemaker types.
Now, there is nothing wrong with that at all. If that’s who
these women are, then they should be who they want to be. But what I don’t get
is why do I seem to find a string of guys who expect me to be that kind of girl? Is it too much to ask to meet
a guy who loves the Lord but is also is okay if his girlfriend can take care of
herself? Since when did Christian men start feeling like they had to prove
their masculinity by dating girls who they could keep under their thumb?
You know, someday I too might be a stay-at-home mom, but
that’s not who I am right now. God placed me in the job I’m at, in the city
where I currently live. It’s just me and God these days, so of course I look
out for myself and I take care of things on my own. But just because I can
check my own oil and tire pressure shouldn't mean that I’m completely
overlooked by the guys in the church. What happened to all of the men who could
date an educated and independent woman without feeling inferior?
Step up the game, guys. We are all equals here.
"What happened to all of the men who could date an educated and independent woman without feeling inferior?" - They are so few and far between. Education and independence can cause such an issue with men. Not all of them, but entirely too many.
ReplyDeleteThat is what I'm finding out. The more education I get and the more independent I become, the more I find men to dislike those traits in me.
ReplyDelete