I'm Sorry, I Left My Denim Jumper at Home...

In a lot of ways, I’m a girl with some old-fashioned values. I treasure my relationship with God, I enjoy my church life, and I was raised in a loving, Christian home. I’m also classically trained in ballet; I love a good cup of tea, cooking, and a marathon of The Golden Girls. This is a part of who I am. I enjoy staying home sometimes on a Friday night and curling up in my pajamas to watch Pride and Prejudice. Lace and frilly things are my delight.

But do you know what else I like? I like skateboarding and denim vests with the sleeves cut out. I take pride in the fact that I have a great job and I’m able to support myself and live on my own, even far away from my family. I take good care of my car, and I have a working knowledge of what goes on under the hood. I go places on my own and I’m not afraid. I’m independent and fully capable of taking care of myself.

When dating, I don’t look for a guy who’s got money, a fancy car, or a nice place, because those aren't priorities to me. I’m not looking to be taken care of. What I do look for in a guy is his spiritual well-being, where he is in his relationship with God, what his values are, whether or not he wears socks with sandals—you know, the important things.

But lately, what I've noticed is that the guys who are into God and their church are the same guys who are not looking for an independent woman.  These guys all seem to be devoting their attention to the Little House on the Prairie, denim-jumper-wearing, Suzy homemaker types.

Now, there is nothing wrong with that at all. If that’s who these women are, then they should be who they want to be. But what I don’t get is why do I seem to find a string of guys who expect me to be that kind of girl? Is it too much to ask to meet a guy who loves the Lord but is also is okay if his girlfriend can take care of herself? Since when did Christian men start feeling like they had to prove their masculinity by dating girls who they could keep under their thumb?

You know, someday I too might be a stay-at-home mom, but that’s not who I am right now. God placed me in the job I’m at, in the city where I currently live. It’s just me and God these days, so of course I look out for myself and I take care of things on my own. But just because I can check my own oil and tire pressure shouldn't mean that I’m completely overlooked by the guys in the church. What happened to all of the men who could date an educated and independent woman without feeling inferior?

Step up the game, guys. We are all equals here.

Count that day lost...

Today is the last day of the work week for me, but is also the day I’ve been dreading. I’m currently in the play, Brigadoon at a local theatre, and tonight we are putting on a benefit performance. I order to actually be on stage in time, I’m going to have to do my hair and makeup before I leave work, which means I will leave work looking like a cross between a drag queen and a geisha. Once I get to the theatre, I will have just enough time to throw on my tights, shoes, and costume, and run onto the stage. I’m a little nervous about that because I’m the type of actress who likes to rehearse before every performance. If I don’t, I do not feel ready.

Even so, I kind of like the feeling of living a “fast-paced” life, so to speak. Ever since I was in my first show in 2007, I haven’t stopped acting, and always do three shows a year. I love it. I also love the fact that it keeps me busy. I don’t like being idle for too long. I sometimes even have trouble slowing down long enough to get the rest that my body needs. I guess that my desire to fill my days up with as much work and productivity as I can stems back to when I was a child. I had an autograph book that I was trying to fill. When I asked my great grandmother to write something, this is what she wrote, “Count that day lost when the low descending sun views from thy hand no worthy action done.” That struck such a chord with me, and I realized how important each day is, and how each one is a gift that shouldn’t be “lost.”

When I was a little older, I started to have some heart problems. The doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong, but I continually had violent heart palpitations. To discover the reason behind the palpitations, the doctors had me wear a heart monitor for the entire month of June. I was scared. I didn’t know if I was going to lose my life in one of the attacks, and no one could give me a straight answer as to what was wrong. I was frightened enough that I began to realized how temporary life really is. In just a moment, it can be snuffed out. I started living my life the way my great grandmother had taught me.

In retrospect, I really had no reason to be worried. My heart is strong, and I only had a small allergy to caffeine, which was easily remedied by abstaining from chocolate and other caffeinated edibles (trust me, it got easier as I went along). Even so, I felt like I learned an important principle: every day is a new opportunity to do something worthwhile. I guess my great grandmother ought to know…she’s had over ninety years’ worth of days filled with her goodness…and she’s still going strong.